Alright, listen up, y’all. You wanna know how to get this Curtis Broseidon safe key? It ain’t rocket science, I tell ya. It’s just like findin’ a needle in a haystack, only the haystack’s full of zombies and the needle’s a key. So, let’s get down to it.

First off, you gotta understand, this ain’t no walk in the park. This Curtis fella, he ain’t just gonna leave his key lyin’ around for anyone to snatch. You gotta work for it, you hear? You gotta sweat a little. Maybe even bleed a little. But don’t you worry, I’ll tell you what you need to know.

Now, from what I hear, this key’s got somethin’ to do with a fella named Crystal, the Lawyer. Sounds fancy, don’t it? Well, don’t let the name fool ya. Crystal ain’t no friend. You gotta find this Crystal, and you gotta, well, let’s just say you gotta convince her to give up the key. How you do that is your business, but just remember, these zombies ain’t got no manners, and neither should you.

• Find Crystal, the Lawyer.
• “Convince” her to give up the key. I ain’t sayin’ how, but you get the picture.
• Grab that key and don’t look back.

Some folks say there are other ways to find keys in this crazy world. They say you can just stumble upon ’em, lyin’ around like lost pennies. Maybe so, maybe so. But I ain’t countin’ on luck. I’m countin’ on gettin’ the job done, the hard way if I have to.

Now, this safe, it ain’t just any old safe. It’s called the Safe of Broseidon, somethin’ like that. Sounds important, right? Well, it is. It’s hidden away in some place called the Goat Pen. Don’t ask me why they call it that, I ain’t got a clue. All I know is, you need that key to get in.

And what’s in the safe, you ask? Well, that’s the million-dollar question, ain’t it? I hear tell it’s got some powerful weapon, somethin’ fancy that’ll help you take down them zombies. A “superior-tier” weapon, they call it. Sounds like somethin’ you’d want, specially if you’re plannin’ on survivin’ this mess.

So, let’s recap. You want the Curtis Broseidon safe key? You gotta find Crystal, the Lawyer. You gotta “convince” her to give it up. Then you gotta find this Goat Pen place and open the Safe of Broseidon. Simple as that. Well, maybe not so simple, but you get the idea.

Now, some folks might tell you there’s another key, somethin’ about a Brock’s safe key and a mansion on Alpine Drive. Don’t listen to ’em. That’s a whole ‘nother story. We’re talkin’ about Curtis’ key, and that means Crystal, the Lawyer. Keep your head straight and don’t get confused.

And one more thing. When you’re out there, lookin’ for this key, keep your eyes peeled. These zombies, they’re everywhere. They’re hungry, they’re mean, and they ain’t gonna give you a fair fight. So be careful, be smart, and be ready to fight. Don’t go wanderin’ off like a lost calf, ya hear? Stick to the plan and you’ll be alright.

Alright, that’s all I got to say. Now get out there and find that key. And don’t come cryin’ to me if you get bit. I told you what to do, now it’s up to you. Good luck, and God bless. You’re gonna need it.

Remember, find Crystal, get the key, open the safe. That’s the plan, and don’t you forget it. And for goodness sake, watch out for them zombies! They ain’t got no respect for the livin’ or the dead.

Tags: [Dead Island 2, Curtis Safe Key, Crystal the Lawyer, Goat Pen, Safe of Broseidon, Superior Weapon, Zombie Survival Guide]