Alright, alright, let me tell ya ’bout this Destiny 2 Unravel thing. Don’t know much ’bout fancy words, but I know what I like, and this game, well, it’s somethin’ else.

Folks keep talkin’ ’bout these “God Rolls” for their shootin’ irons. Heard tell of this “Unforgiven” thing, a “Submachine Gun” they call it. Sounds scary, huh? But they say it’s the best, specially if you get the right… uh… “perks” on it. Like, faster shootin’ or bigger booms, I guess. Makes a ol’ gal like me wonder how they come up with this stuff.

Then there’s them big ol’ “Sniper Rifles.” This one they call “Void Aggressive Frame” somethin’ or other. Says it can take down the toughest bad guys. Sounds like a good thing to have, seein’ as how those aliens are always causin’ trouble. I tell ya, them space critters ain’t nothin’ but trouble.

Now, I ain’t no spring chicken, but even I can see these young’uns lovin’ them “Rocket Sidearms.” Says they’re real good for fightin’ off them monsters in the game. Makes sense, I reckon. Big boom is always good, right?

• Guns, Guns, Guns: Seems like everyone’s always chasin’ after the best shootin’ irons. They got stats and graphs and all sorts of stuff to figure out which one’s the best. Reminds me of pickin’ out a good watermelon – gotta thump it just right, you know?
• Craftin’ and Perks: They even got this “weapon crafting” thing now. Like, makin’ your own guns, I guess. And them “perks”… well, that’s like puttin’ extra special stuff on your guns to make ’em even better. Sounds complicated, but if it helps ya shoot better, can’t be all bad.
• Raids and Such: Heard tell of this “Garden of Salvation” raid. Sounds mighty important, seein’ as how they went and fixed up all the guns from it. Guess it’s one of them places you go to get the good stuff. Reminds me of goin’ to the market on a Saturday mornin’ – gotta get there early to get the best pickin’s.

This “Episode Revenant” they talk about… sounds like they brought back a bunch of them old guns, made ’em better. That’s good, right? Waste not, want not, that’s what I always say. No point in lettin’ good shootin’ irons go to waste.

They got all these fancy charts and graphs to show which guns are the most popular. Folks are real serious about this game, I tell ya. More serious than a hen sittin’ on eggs. But hey, if they’re havin’ fun, who am I to judge?

So, this Destiny 2 Unravel… it’s about gettin’ the best guns, makin’ ’em better, and takin’ down them aliens. Simple as that. Nothin’ too complicated, once you get past all them fancy words. Just shootin’ and lootin’, just like back in my day… only with space magic and robots.

Anyways, that’s my take on it. Probably missed a bunch of them fancy details, but that’s the gist of it. Just remember, find a good gun, put some good perks on it, and go shoot them bad guys. That’s all there is to it, I reckon. And if anyone tells ya different, well, they’re probably just tryin’ to sell ya somethin’. You can trust me on that.

Now, go get ’em, Guardian! Or whatever they call ya in this here game.

Tags: Destiny 2, Weapons, Perks, God Rolls, Unforgiven, Rocket Sidearms, Sniper Rifle, Episode Revenant, Garden of Salvation, Weapon Crafting, PvE, Stats