Alright, so you wanna know ’bout them Slaanesh armies, huh? Lemme tell ya, those fellas ain’t right. They all about, well, too much of everything. Like, if you like eatin’ pie, they like eatin’ ten pies at once, ya know? No sense of enough.

Them Big Bosses

First off, you got this Be’lakor fella. Big bad dude, real tough. He brings along some other weirdos, Shalaxi and these Keepers. Now, when you get a Keeper, make sure he can smack folks from far away. That’s the -1W at range thing. Means he can hit ya good ‘fore you get close.

• Be’lakor: Scary fella, good fighter.
• Shalaxi: Another one of them Slaanesh types.
• Keepers: Get the one that hits from far away.

Then there’s this Syll’Esske. Costs a bit more, but tough as nails, kinda like a big, angry chicken but way meaner. He didn’t get cheaper in that book they put out, the Chapter Approved thing, so you know he’s worth somethin’. He just keeps on fightin’ and fightin’.

The Regular Guys

Now, if you’re playin’ that game, Total War, you gotta be smart with your money. You can’t just go buyin’ all the fancy stuff. Gotta get some regular fellas too. I heard some young’uns talkin’ about best armies and best prices. Makes sense, I guess. You always want the most bang for your buck.

Them Slaanesh armies, they got these fast fellas, real quick on their feet. Good for runnin’ around and causin’ trouble. And they got some that hit hard, too. You gotta mix ’em up, ya know? Some fast ones, some strong ones. Like makin’ a stew – gotta have different things in it to make it taste good.

Why They Fight

Them Slaanesh folks, they fight ’cause they always want more. More power, more stuff, more… well, you get the idea. They just ain’t happy with what they got. Always gotta have somethin’ more. Kinda sad, really. Always wantin’ and never satisfied. Like my neighbor’s prize-winning rooster, always crowing for more feed even when his belly’s full.

How to Beat ‘Em

Now, beatin’ ‘em…that ain’t easy. They fast, they hit hard, and they got them big bosses. You gotta be smart. Use the ground to your advantage, set traps if you can. And don’t let ’em get the jump on ya. Hit ’em first, hit ’em hard, and don’t let up. Like when you got a rat in the barn – you gotta corner him and don’t give him no escape route. You gotta be patient and wait for the right time to strike. If you go in too early, you’ll get yourself killed. Gotta be like a spider, waitin’ for the fly to get stuck in the web, then BAM!

Total War and Such

I hear there’s this game, Total War, where you can play as these Slaanesh armies. Sounds like a hoot, all them different fellas fightin’ each other. Medieval, Shogun, Rome, all them places. They even got them Warhammer fellas in there too. All sorts of ways to play. But I reckon it’s all the same in the end. Gotta be smart, gotta be tough, and gotta have a plan. And don’t forget the most important thing, never take any wooden nickels.

So, that’s the long and short of it. Them Slaanesh armies, they somethin’ else. Fast, strong, and always wantin’ more. You just gotta be smarter and tougher than them. And remember what I said, get that Keeper that hits from far away. That’s the key, I tell ya.

Tags: Slaanesh, Total War, Warhammer, Chaos, Armies, Strategy, Be’lakor, Syll’Esske, Keepers