Well now, let me tell you ’bout this BG3 Lump the Enlightened, whatever that means. Sounds fancy, but it ain’t nothin’ but a big ol’ ogre, you see. Big and dumb, like most of ‘em.

First time I saw him, he was with them goblins, nasty little buggers they are. Always causin’ trouble, stealin’ and whatnot. This Lump, though, he was somethin’ else. Strong as an ox, and mean-lookin’ too. But dumb, real dumb. You could trick him easier than stealin’ candy from a baby.

Now, you got choices with this Lump fella. You could fight him, if you’re feelin’ brave, or foolish, depends on how you look at it. But fightin’ him ain’t easy, he’s tough, and he hits hard. Unless you got some real strong magic, or you’re just plain lucky, you might wanna think twice ‘bout that.

• Fightin’ him ain’t the only way though. You can talk your way outta trouble, you know. Just like sweet-talkin’ your husband when you want somethin’. Tell him you’re one of them Absolute’s chosen, whatever that is. Sounds like a load of hogwash to me, but it works on Lump. He thinks you’re a friend then. See? Smarter than he looks, that’s me.
• Or, if you got some coin, you can pay him off. Ogres like gold, just like everyone else, I reckon. Give him enough, and he’ll work for you instead of them goblins. That’s what I did, once. Got myself a nice horn outta the deal too, Lump’s War Horn they call it. Handy thing, that horn.
• And if you’re good at lyin’, you can trick him. Tell him you’ll give him gold later, you know, like a promise you don’t intend to keep. Worked like a charm, that did. He went away happy, thinkin’ he was gonna be rich. Foolish ogre.

Some folks say this fightin’ stuff is all about levels, level four, level five, whatever that means. Sounds like somethin’ them city folk would say. All I know is, if somethin’s too strong, you run. Run far away, until you’re safe. Then you can stop fightin’. There’s a button for that, they say. Handy thing, that button. Saves you a whole lotta trouble.

I even heard tell of folks summonin’ Lump, bringin’ him around wherever they go. Like he’s some kinda pet. Crazy, if you ask me. Big fella like that, eatin’ you outta house and home, and probably causin’ more trouble than he’s worth. But hey, to each their own, I always say.

One thing I learned ‘bout this Lump, though, he ain’t all bad. He’s just… simple. Follows whoever’s strongest, or whoever gives him the most food, I reckon. You can use that, you know. Get him on your side, and he can be a real help. Or, you can just leave him alone, let him be. That’s what I mostly do, unless there’s somethin’ in it for me, of course.

There’s even this talk about a dog, Scratch they call him. Seems like this dog can die if he’s at the camp when things go south. But Lump? He ain’t got nothin’ to do with the dog, far as I can tell. You deal with Lump however you see fit, the dog’s fate is somethin’ else entirely. Just goes to show, everyone’s got their own problems, even ogres and dogs.

So, that’s the story of Lump the Enlightened, as far as I can tell. Not much to it, really. Just a big, dumb ogre you can fight, trick, or pay off. Your choice. Me? I prefer to talk my way outta trouble. Always have, always will. Saves you a whole lot of aches and pains, that’s for sure. And keeps your hands clean, too.

Tags: [Baldur’s Gate 3, Lump the Enlightened, Ogre, BG3, Blighted Village, Combat, Strategy, Choices, Consequences]