Hogarmania Deck Ideas: Simple Designs for Your Outdoor Space

Alright, let’s yak about this here… uh… “hogarmania deck” thing. Sounds fancy, but I reckon it just means makin’ your porch look nice, right? Don’t need no big words to pretty up a place.

First off, if your porch is lookin’ like a dog chewed it up, you gotta fix it. No point in puttin’ lipstick on a pig, ya know? If somethin’s broke, nail it down. If it’s rotten, yank it out and slap some new wood in there. Ain’t gotta be perfect, just sturdy. We ain’t buildin’ no fancy mansion, just a place to sit and drink some sweet tea.

Now, if you got a small porch, like mine, ya gotta be smart about it. Can’t just throw any old thing out there and expect it to look good. It’s like tryin’ to fit a whole watermelon in a teacup. Gotta be thinkin’, gotta be plannin’.

Them city folks talk about “decorative coverings”. Pshaw! That just means throwin’ down a rug, or maybe one of them outdoor mats. Covers up the ugly spots, and feels nice on your bare feet, too. If you got some ugly spots you can’t fix right away or your wood is just old and looks nasty, just slap a rug over it. Quick and easy fix. Don’t over think it.

Get yourself a nice outdoor rug
Make sure it’s big enough to cover the bad spots
Pick a color that don’t show dirt too bad, ya hear?

They also talk about “strategic placement.” Sounds like somethin’ them generals do in a war. But it ain’t that hard. Just means puttin’ your stuff in the right place. Got a cracked board? Put a big ol’ pot of petunias right on top of it. Nobody will ever know. Got a stain you can’t get out? Plop a chair over it. Simple as pie. Makes the whole place look nicer too. You can put some chairs and a little table, make it a nice place to sit and watch the sun go down.

And speakin’ of plants, them city folk got somethin’ right. Plants are always a good idee. Makes anythin’ look prettier, even an old porch like mine. Don’t gotta be nothin’ fancy, just some flowers in a pot, or maybe some herbs if you like to cook. Keeps the skeeters away too, which is a bonus in my book. If you don’t have a green thumb, get some of them fake plants, they look real enough from far away, and you don’t have to water them.

Now, if you ain’t got a porch at all, well, that’s a different story. Them city slickers say you can “build a custom deck.” Sounds expensive. But I reckon if you got some spare wood and a strong back, you can build yourself somethin’ nice. Just a flat space to put your chair, that’s all you need. A few boards, a few nails, and some elbow grease, and you got yourself a porch.

And don’t forget the lights. Nothin’ fancy, just some string lights or maybe a lantern. Makes the place feel cozy at night, and you can see where you’re steppin’. Plus, it looks pretty. And who don’t want their porch lookin’ pretty? Everybody likes pretty. Even if they say they don’t, they do.

So that’s all there is to it. Fix it up, cover up the ugly, put your stuff in the right place, add some plants, and maybe some lights. Ain’t rocket science. Just common sense, the way I see it. Now go on and make your porch purdy, and enjoy the sunshine. Or the moonlight, whichever you prefer. You can sit out there and have a nice glass of lemonade, or a cold beer, whatever you like. Just relax and enjoy it, cause life’s too short to be sittin’ inside all day. And that’s all I gotta say about that “hogarmania deck”.