Alright, alright, let’s talk about this here… what’s it called? Harley Quinn Challenge in BitLife, yeah, that’s it. My grandkid told me about it, says it’s all the rage. Now, I don’t know nothin’ ’bout no video games, but I can tell you how to get things done, that’s for sure.

So, this challenge, it’s like a whole list of things you gotta do, a real long one. First off, you gotta be a gal. No boys allowed in this here game, not for this one. And you gotta be born in a place called Gotham City. Sounds like a made-up place to me, but alright. You gotta make sure when you start this thing, you pick that Gotham City.

Now, once you’re born and all grown up, you gotta get yourself a fella. Not just any fella, mind you. Gotta be someone they call a “Joker.” Sounds like trouble to me, but that’s what they want. And this Joker fella, he’s gotta be rich. Like, real rich. Loaded with money, they say. How you find him? I don’t know, maybe hang around where the rich folks go. Gotta keep your eyes peeled, I guess.

Then comes the bad stuff, the real crazy stuff. You gotta start causin’ trouble, bein’ a real menace. They want you to escape from jail, like, more than once. I tell you what, stayin’ out of jail is the better way, but this game, it’s all backwards. So you get yourself arrested, on purpose, mind you. And then you gotta figure out how to bust outta there. My grandkid says there’s ways to do it, little tricks and things. You gotta learn them tricks.

• Be a female character born in Gotham City.
• Marry a rich man nicknamed “The Joker.”
• Escape from prison multiple times.
• Commit various crimes and become a menace to society.
• Have plastic surgery.

And it ain’t just jailbreaks. They want you to be a real criminal. Stealin’, fightin’, all sorts of bad things. Gotta become a “menace to society,” they call it. Sounds awful, doesn’t it? But that’s what they want for this here challenge. So you go and do all them bad things. And don’t you get caught too easy, now. You gotta be smart about it, like a fox.

After all that trouble, there’s more. They want you to get all fixed up, you know, like them movie stars. Plastic surgery, they call it. Change your looks, make yourself all fancy. I guess even bad gals want to look good, huh? I don’t get it, but that’s what they want. You find a doctor, get yourself a new nose, or whatever they do. Just make sure you got the money for it, ‘cause that stuff ain’t cheap.

And you know what else? You gotta keep that Joker fella happy. Even if he’s a bad guy, you gotta keep him around. Don’t you go divorcin’ him or nothin’. They say you gotta stay married to him all the way through this thing. So, you stick with him, even when he’s bein’ a pain in the neck. That’s what marriage is all about, I guess, even in this here video game.

So, that’s about it, I reckon. You do all them things, be born right, find that Joker fella, cause trouble, get outta jail a bunch of times, fix yourself up, and stay married, and you’ll finish this here Harley Quinn challenge. Sounds like a lot of work to me, all this mischief-makin’. But if that’s what you wanna do, well, you go on ahead. Just remember what I told you, and you’ll be just fine.

This challenge ain’t easy, I hear. It takes some time and some luck too, I guess. But you keep at it, you’ll get it done. And when you do, you can tell your old grandma all about it. I might not understand it all, but I’ll listen. That’s what grandmas do, you know. We listen and we love you, even when you’re playin’ games about bein’ a bad gal in some made-up city. Now go on, get to it! And don’t forget to eat your vegetables!

And remember, it ain’t all just about clickin’ buttons, you gotta think, you gotta plan. Just like in real life, you want somethin’, you gotta work for it. Even if it’s just a silly game, it teaches you somethin’. So you go on and learn them tricks, and you become the best darn Harley Quinn you can be. And don’t you go forgettin’ what your old grandma told you. Now, get outta here and go play your game!